It's taken about three weeks to post this. I think because posting it means that I've acknowledged that the hardest thing I've ever knitted is gone, and that the chances of finding it again are very low.
The weather is finally getting cold enough here to start thinking seriously about knitwear. A few weeks ago I was looking for my Funchal Moebius, and she wasn't in any of the usual places. Not in my scarf drawer. Not on top of the dresser. Not on the floor (yes, I know, I'm a terrible person, but my floordrobe functions well) and not in any other drawers. She wasn't under the cushions on the couch, in any of my craft drawers, or on any coat hangers in the actual wardrobe.
I turned the house upside down. I rang my parents and my in-laws. Grandma is very concerned. Friends checked to see if I'd left it at their places. No sign of it anywhere.
This is not the first knitted item I've lost. Last year I lost my first Storm Shawl, but that was very straight forward to recreate. This is another matter entirely.
The Funchal Moebius was a really big challenge for me when I made it. This was over five years ago; I'd never knitted anything of that size before, and I don't think I have since. I'd never tried stranded knitting, and I'd never dyed yarn before. It took me over six months to make, blindly trusting in Kate Davies' pattern writing skills, and painstakingly grafting the two ends together having never done a Kitchener Stitch before in my life.
I'm still trying to find a bit of a way forward from this. Part of me thinks "Jo, this is okay, it's just a scarf" and the other parts are more like "How the hell could you be so careless, don't you remember that six months of struggle??". I'm a bit mad at myself, but do realise that at the end of the day, if I really want to, I could make another one because it's not the end of the world and there are much more important things for me to be worrying about.
The idea of making another one feels incredibly daunting, and I'm not sure that I can bring myself to do it. Maybe I need to find another pattern that's a little bit classic / will go with everything / a bit of a challenge. Maybe that's the way forward. And maybe she will turn up!
Have you ever lost anything that took a lot of time or effort to make? What did you do?